If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize