Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
