belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
