am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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