meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I have tasted many bathrooms
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
