Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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