i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
