If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
