I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
