Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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