why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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