Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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