her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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