He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize