Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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