Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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