I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
