My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
