So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
