I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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