I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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