Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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