Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
