dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
