wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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