So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
