It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
id be glad to
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
