My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize