Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
