I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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