I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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