just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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