i wish semen tasted like chocolate
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
