Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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