ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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