I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize