I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I came so hard my ears popped.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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