Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
