I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Why is your signature on my underwear?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
