i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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