Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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