dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
