This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
