he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
