Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
