return my video game
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
True strength comes from lack of pants
We need to get me chipped asap
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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