Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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