I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
