suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
