I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize