I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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