the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
