FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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