What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
